Monday, August 29, 2005

soccer time!

Last night Steven had a scrimmage at Jacob's park... and L and I tagged along to watch. It was L's first attendance to one of his games outside of the womb. I'm sure she was quite at ease since it all sounded familiar to her; however I think she was mostly grateful to be out of her carseat after a 2 1/2 hour trip back home to Tucson from Scottsdale.

Steven and I made a spur of the moment romantic escapade up there for a long weekend to celebrate our 3rd anniversary. L, of course, tagged along for the fun!

Monday, August 22, 2005

immunization

I've always been skeptical of vaccinations and the ever-increasing schedule of childhood inoculations. I've heard the whispers about feared possible connections between vaccines and autism. I have also heard in recent years of the elimination of thimerosal from vaccines and their improved safety. Either way, now that I have my own child, I wanted to truly investigate and educate myself about the practice that is considered routine and beneficial: childhood immunizations.

Unfortunately, I feel that my skepticism was justified, and I opened a Pandora's box of issues and concerns in regards to vaccination. I started out by looking at numbers - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) statistics, Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System (VAERS) (which, keep in mind, is grossly underreported). I then moved on to various pieces of literature from the local library, highlighting both sides of the issue. What I have taken away from this research is profound. I shall cover just a few of my thoughts/findings:

  • Childhood diseases that vaccinations prevent against are, in most cases, benign illnesses that strengthen and benefit the immune system and provide the best protection for lasting immunity.
  • By vaccinating against these diseases in childhood, it shifts the incidence rates from age-groups unlikely to experience problems (children) to age-groups most likely to suffer from severe complications (infants and adults).
  • During outbreaks of diseases (measles or pertussis for example) an overwhelming majority of those who become infected have been adequately vaccinated against the disease. Vaccinations do not guaranty immunity.
  • In infants the blood-brain barrier (a protective membrane that prevents harmful substances from reaching the brain) is not yet capable of keeping out toxins that can damage the brain. Therefore toxins used in vaccines can do harm.
  • Toxins in vaccines can include aluminum, formaldehyde, phenol and thimerosal.
  • The polio vaccine contains monkey kidney cell culture and calf serum. Other vaccines are prepared in chick embryo. These are foreign proteins - biological matter composed of animal cells. Because they are injected directly into the bloodstream, they are able to change our genetic structure (N. Z. Miller "Vaccines: Are They Really Safe and Effective?")
  • Babies die at a rate seven times greater than normal within three days after getting a pertussis shot. The three primary doses are given to infants at two months, four months, and six months. Approximately 85 percent of SIDS cases occur in the period one month through six months, with the peak incidence at age two to four months. (A. M. Walker "Does Pertussis Vaccine cause Sudden Infant Death?")
  • The long-term effects of continuing to mass vaccinate our children are unknown.
  • Since mass vaccination was implemented in the U.S. there has been an increase in the incidence of immune system and neurological disorders. "Rates of asthma and attention-deficit disorder have doubled; diabetes and learning disabilities have tripled; and most states have experienced a 300 percent or more increase in autism" (B. L. Fisher, NVIC)
  • "Autism, once an uncommon disorder in the U.S., has reached epidemic proportions. In the late 1960s the incidence of autism was 1 child out of every 2,000. In the year 2,000 it was 1 in 200" (S. Cave "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations") Is it only coincidence that this coincides with the dramatic increase of vaccinations given to infants and young children?

I could go on and on... but I won't. Well, maybe just a little bit more. There is just so much that isn't known about what these vaccines do to us on a cellular level and I believe there isn't enough research being done. I also feel that the many of the things children are vaccinated against aren't necessarily as big a threat as the vaccines themselves. I would have rather caught measles as a child than have had the vaccination. I would then have a deeper, lasting immunity to measles, and I would be able to pass on my immunity to my child. Unfortunately, since I was vaccinated and developed an artificial immunity, my breastmilk is incapable of providing that to my child. It upsets me that now the varicella (chicken pox) vaccine is being recommended and even required in some states. I had chicken pox and it is no big deal. Now the vaccine is shifting another harmless disease to age groups where it can cause harmful complications. There have already been reported cases of shingles in those who have received the varicella vaccine.

Perhaps the most upsetting is the intentions of mass immunization. Varicella was developed because government was looking for a way to save businesses hundreds of millions of dollars in lost production time (from mothers staying home with their sick children). The mumps vaccine was developed to protect males who did not acquire the disease in childhood to avoid the rare possiblity that they would become sterile. Mass immunization for the disease rubella was targetted at young children because the CDC hoped to eliminate the risk of exposure among pregnant women (the only population at risk from rubella). Apparently many vaccines are designed to protect not the recipient of the vaccine, but another popoulation.

Vaccines have done a lot of good, but I also feel that in many ways there has been a price paid. I wish more people would stop and question the 'standard' practice of childhood vaccinations and really look into the risks and benefits involved. As the saying goes, knowledge is power, and the more you know about something the more you can know what to do about it.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

babies are addictive

L is looking more and more like a baby and less and less like a newborn everyday. I am so grateful she's growing strong and healthy, but at the same time so saddened too! It is a strange bittersweetness: I look forward to her growing and every wonderful milestone yet to come; yet at each sign of growth and milestone I encounter I become reminiscently sad.

I realize now why people keep having children. Babies are down-right addictive!! Once you've have one, and they've grown, you want more!! You crave that baby-fix again. I can now completely relate to those wives who plead with their husbands to have "just one more." And I, too, am now one of those addicts. There is no turning back now...

It's just a good thing there isn't a mail-order-baby service. Then we'd really be in trouble!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

"daddy" goes to work

My husband Steven left for work this morning at 5:47 a.m. So early. For some people, however, I am sure it is completely normal. Steven has a weekly tele-conference meeting every Tuesday that starts at 7:00 a.m., which is why the early departure is necessary.

Up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready, I nursed L in bed while he fed the doggies breakfast, showered and dressed. Before he left he came over to my side of the bed to give me a kiss goodbye. Such a tease. Dressed all nice for work, smelling deliciously clean and fresh, he made me want to put on a beautiful dress and go out to a romantic dinner. I told him this after he kissed me and he chuckled at the absurdity of it at quarter to six in the morning. He knew what I meant though....

Now I share him. I'm not the only lady he will take to dinner anymore. I am not the only lady he will come home to and shower with attention. Our daughter L commands quite a deal of his affections already at 3 1/2 weeks old. And, so, today it is us two girls at home again, eagerly waiting for "daddy" to come home. And "mommy" was left with a sweet memory of a kiss from "daddy" this morning that will stay with her all day...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

all smiles

here's a photo I snapped of L today... smiling in her sleep at two and a half weeks old.

some say it's just gas, but I think that is just a big myth - why would gas make babies smile? I like to consider them 'practice smiles' !

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

telephonophobia

telephonophobia: a fear of telephones

I have a problem when it comes to phones. I am not afraid of phones themselves, however, I do have problems picking them up and using them. It's a problem that has plagued me for as long as I can remember. I don't know when, how, or why it started. But I know it is something very real that I deal with. And it affects my relationships with family and friends.

Probably the hardest is answering the phone. I feel nervous, unprepared, and afraid that I won't know what to say. It occurs mostly with people I know; I am indifferent to telemarketers and other such anonymous callers. Because of this fear, I find myself frequently not answering the phone, staring at it, nervous and conflicted as it rings, until the answering machine picks up, then experiencing feelings of guilt for not picking it up. The guilt is worse than the fear of picking up the phone.

Calling people is difficult as well, but slightly less because it is something I feel that have more control over - I initiate the phonecall and therefore I feel more prepared and in control. Although slightly easier, the fear is still there, and causes me to be reluctant to calling family and friends. I know since I have moved over 2000 miles away from all my family and friends that many relationships have been impacted by my "phone" issues.

And you know what? When I do answer the phone, or call someone, the phonecall almost always is a positive experience that goes very well... and leaves me feeling good. And despite being very aware of this, my fear still persists, and the struggle to use the phone continues. Phobias are simply irrational.