miss misery

I'll fake it through the day
With some help from Johnny Walker Red
Send the poison rain down the drain
To put bad thoughts in my head
Two tickets torn in half
And a lot of nothin' to do
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do

A man in the park
Read the lines in my hand
Told me I'm strong
Hardly ever wrong I said
"Man you mean--"

You had plans for both of us
That involved a trip out of town
To a place I've seen in a magazine
That you'd left lyin' around

I don't have you with me
But I keep a good attitude
Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do

I know you'd rather see me gone
Than to see me the way that I am
But I am in your life any way

Next door the T.V.'s flashing
Blue frames on the wall
It's a comedy of errors you see
It's about taking a fall

To vanish into oblivion
It's easy to do
And I tried to leave but you know me
I come back when you want me to.

Do you miss me, Miss Misery
Like you say you do

sesame street persona test

Your Score: Elmo

You scored 60% Organization, 65% abstract, and 49% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are mostly organized, more abstract, and both introverted and extroverted.

Most people either love or hate Elmo. I hope you love Elmo, because that's who you are.

You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Elmo has the same basic approach. His place is pretty tidy, but he doesn't spend all of his time cleaning it up.


You both are abstract thinkers. You definitely are not afraid to take chances in life. You only live once. You may notice others around you playing it safe, but you are more concerned with not compromising your desires, and getting everything you can out of life. This is a very romantic approach to life, but hopefully you are also grounded enough to get by. Elmo's whole life is based on fantasy and his imagination. In the beginning he was a regular character, but now he spends most of his time in this fantasy world.


You are both somewhat extroverts. Like Elmo, you probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations. Elmo spends some of his time with real friends, but he also needs some time just to chat it up with his goldfish.

The other possible characters are

Oscar the Grouch

Big Bird

Cookie Monster

Ernie

Snuffleupagus

Kermit the Frog

Grover

The Count

Guy Smiley

Bert

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test

uncertainty principle

It's times like these that make me want to drink myself into an unconscious oblivion.

As someone insightful once said, though, once you have children, you forfeit the right to self-destruct.

And I forfeited that right some time ago. I have more reason than ever to keep myself from mentally going under. Something bigger than myself.

But things right now are not good. They are negatively charged and horribly uncertain. I have never seen my husband pull so far away emotionally. All in a matter of a few days.

It has to do with work, but he isn't capable of talking about it yet. He's too upset. I am scared. If it has to do with the status of his employment, we are in dire trouble, because his job is right now the only means by which we get by.

I can't help but cry. That's who I am. I'm certain that's part of why he's pulling away from me right now; he can't bear to see my sadness, hear my weepiness and feel my fear on top of all that is going on. He needs me to be "normal" he told me; to go about the weekend in the way I typically would. That's how I can be the biggest help right now. But it is incredibly hard to do so with the storm cloud of doom looming over his head and creeping up on our family.

I prayed last night for the first time in a long time. And it did help. It felt good to ask for help; to attempt at turning over my burden, even if just temporarily; to pray for my husband and what he is going through. I am still bound by anxiety but am coping and hoping for everything to turn out okay.

thoughts floating around in my head

Just jotting down some random little morsels that have entered my mind over the past month or so....


1. Tai Chi / Chai Tea .... coincidence?

2. Having children today is more of a luxury, whereas in the past having children served as more of an asset. In today's society, the more financially well-off you are, the more equipped you are to have a bigger family. In the past, the more children you had, the more farm-hands you had to help with and sustain the family business. Today children are more of a financial liability than an asset, hence they are more of a luxury.

3. A little is to much; too much is never enough. Something that recently entered my mind. A riddle, more or less. Do you know what the answer is? It's not concrete. I'm sure there can be many answers. I think of only one.

4. Do you believe in God?

	RoninVision says: Shutter_Wag: There's no denying that his life, death, and resurrection have made a huge impact on history. The very fact that Christianity has survived so long (and continues to grow) should cause a reasonable person to weigh the claims of Christianity with great seriousness. In the free market of ideas, it is unlikely Christianity would have spread so rapidly or endured such persecution (as it still faces in much of the world) if it were not based upon verifiable historical facts (which, by the way, it is). Actually, if you examine pre-Christian history, many of the hallmarks of the story of Jesus as told in the New Testament (virgin birth, son of God, performing miracles, rising from the dead, etc.) are borrowed from previous messiah figures in pagan savior cults and other religious orders. Some of these pre-Christian messiah figures were: Antiochus, Mithras, Horus, Krishna, Dionysus, Attis, Orpheus, Osiris, and Adonis. As far as the spread of Christianity, the early Christians (very cleverly) substituted various pagan holidays and traditions with new Christian holidays and traditions such as Christmas, Easter, baptism, the Eucharist, etc. etc. Also, the Christians did a fair amount of persecution themselves over the centuries in the form of: the conversion of the Roman Empire to Christianity under Constantine, the Crusades, and the Spanish Inquisition. Posted 7 days ago. ( permalink )
	PhotoGraham says: Shutter_Wag:: If longevity is so significant you should be a Hindu or a Jew. Longevity only indicates that the story is popular, not true. Religious ideas are subject to a form of evolution in fact. You will find many elements of Christianity in earlier religions and myths. Old stories retold with subtle changes to make a slightly better story (resurrections, virgin birth etc). Old festivals adopted by the new religion (e.g Saturnalia = Christmas). The older versions tend to get forgotten and the newer ones become more popular. Threatening non-believers with damnation encourages a 'better safe than sorry' acceptance and 'Jesus died for your sins' bit has proved very popular. Extreme violence and intolerance against non-believers has played quite a big part as well. Oh yes, which verifiable historical facts are those? Originally posted 7 days ago. ( permalink ) PhotoGraham edited this topic 7 days ago.
	Findo says: @iansand - "Then why is worship a prerequisite to entering heaven?" It's not. Submitting to the Lordship and recieving the saviourship of Jesus is the prerequisite for entering heaven. Without Jesus in our place we only deserve the just penalty for our rebellion against God. @PhotoGraham - "Interesting. Who makes the other people then, in your theology. Is god more an adoptive father? Or perhaps he sires/makes vast numbers of offspring so he can pick the ones he likes and damn the rest. That doesn't sound very moral to me. It's a poor example to humanity don't you think?" Each and every one of us has broken God's laws and rebelled against him in one way or another. No one is perfect. So, we all deserve the just penalty for our rebellion. But, God is not only Just, but rich in Mercy and sent Jesus to take this penalty for those who will turn from their rebellion and trust Him. It is these people who are adopted as sons and daughters of God. "Actually god is rather schizophrenic what with the vengeful god the father and the meek loving son. Still I suppose it all makes sense to you." Where do you get your information? It is God who sent his son to die for rebellious sinners - for the ones who nailed his son to a cross. While I was still spitting in God's face, he sent his son to die in my place! You seem to have a lot of wrong assumptions about the Christian faith (no doubt promoted by well meaning Christians). To make up your own mind it's best to read it for yourself. Jesus' biography by Mark is a good one I reckon. @ RoninVision - " As far as the spread of Christianity, the early Christians (very cleverly) substituted various pagan holidays and traditions with new Christian holidays and traditions such as Christmas, Easter, baptism, the Eucharist, etc. etc." This was only after it became the state religion (a bad thing). The first Christians were being tortured and killed for their beliefs, a staggering thing really when you realise they all ran away in fear the night Jesus was arrested. Also, rather interestingly, if the whole story was a hoax, not only would these cowards have nothing to gain by promoting it, but the Romans would surely have only needed to produce Jesus' body.. but no one did. The resurrection would have been easily refuted, but it never was. Posted 7 days ago. ( permalink )
	iansand says: Findo So this whole church hosanna hullabaloo system is a waste of time and effort? Very Society of Friends. If I wander through life in a generally good way, the only thing that determines whether or not I crack heaven is whether I tip a wink to Jesus while I do it. This is where the neurotic bit rears its ugly head. The deity craves acknowledgement. If it doesn't get it then its off to eternal fire. A bit vindictive, doncha think? Originally posted 7 days ago. ( permalink ) iansand edited this topic 7 days ago.

5. Why am I so tired lately? And what's with the headaches? Am I addicted to caffeine? And the nightmares seriously need to stop. I can't wait until Mister E sleeps through the night... though I contribute his incessant nursing to the continued postponement of aunt flo's reappearance; wouldn't mind it staying that way! Perhaps that's the answer to my first two questions: hormonally out of whack. As for the third, it's most likely a yes.

five friends every woman should have

If you can find even one person who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, consider yourself fortunate!

By Michelle Burford from O, The Oprah Magazine , May 2005

"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the "family" I've gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

1. The Uplifter
This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we're both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

5. The Unlikely Friend
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

my own mini-memoir

It's funny how no one ever tells you that having children of your own will conjure up ghosts of your past childhood. In my case, those ghosts are few and far between, either forgotten just because or repressed un/intentionally.

For the better part of a decade, upon realization that my recollection of childhood was extremely poor, I've wondered if there was something wrong with me; wrong with my mind. How much does a typical person recall from their childhood?

I suppose that is why I've been particularly drawn to the song Take a Picture by Filter. And I suppose that is why I take so many pictures; I'm afraid I'll forget. I'm compelled to document life.

Could you take my picture?
'Cause I won't remember.

Not only does having children bring on the unsolicited visit from what can be conjured from one's past, but so does reading a memoir. especially a memoir like The Liars' Club.

From here I could fork off to one of a million different tangents. Oh which path will I choose?

How about spanking?

Okay. Well, this is one of the matters that has been floating around in my head of late, mostly because of the Mary Karr's memoir. You see, when I read about her account of spankings and other corporal punishments of the like she endured through childhood, be they with open palm or switch, they were markedly different from my experience with physical penalties growing up. Hers (Karr's) were administered with a relative degree of control as a means of correcting a behavior. They were done with calculation in a deliberate, even somewhat organized, manner.

In my home, they were never on my butt, and they were far from regulated. A spanking was anything but a spanking.

First off, my father never resorted to corporal punishment, seeing as he could hurt you far more effectively with his words. He is still the only person to this day who has and can make me want to kill myself just by using his words. God, that sounds just awful to write out here, but it's the truth.

My mom was the one who got physical. But her resorting to physicality was not so much an action taken to correct and control my behavior so much than it was a loss of control of her behavior. I remember many an instance of kicking, hitting, swatting, hair-pulling, pushing and dragging.

Sometimes I look at my own daughter who has tried my patience on occasion and wonder, how could she not know better? Or, maybe more appropriately, do better?

I remember mom telling me she was sorry after the fact on more than one occasion. Telling me that she had trouble not being that way because growing up she had been a little sister and that was how she was used to reacting. I now look back on that explanation and think, well, didn't you grow up? you weren't a little kid getting back at your big brother then; you were a mother irresponsibly taking your frustrations out on your child in that present moment - who was significantly smaller than you.

When I started babysitting at age 11 I noticed on more than one occasion the readiness with which I rose my hand to reprimand a child. I resisted with all that was in me and didn't take as many babysitting jobs. Most unfortunately I didn't practice the same restraint and self control when it came to my brother.

Mom got better as I got older. After my brother was born (I was 9 at the time) she had improved a lot. Not entirely, but she was better.

One time when I was either a tween or young teen, and we were in some sort of altercation, her standing before me on fire with fury and me sitting on my bed facing her with anger and trepidation, she had gone to kick me with all her might, and I lifted my legs up to avoid the certain painful collision. Well, she bashed her foot into the base board of the bed and had a bump the size of a jumbo egg for the better part of the month. That is one memory I haven't forgotten. I think because in a way it turned out to be an unintentional revenge and it resulted in physical attestation on her part of what she had tried to do to me.

Mom found Jesus in 1997 and was baptized, and I don't remember any physical incidents after that point in time. Granted I wasn't much of a threat seeing as I could barely get out of bed that time in my life. If anything my apathy was a peaceful poison.

I think I need to stay away from memoirs for a while.