ready

Per Zilla's suggestion/request, I am going to try my darnedest to leave a quick post before I have the baby. I had six hours last time, so I hope I'm afforded the time to not only get to the birth center, but to be able to announce the exciting news to you all...


As you can see, I have been having some fun in photoshop recently when I can't sleep. Gee, can you tell what's on my brain and how excited I am?

ISFJ

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

"you very loyal"
"you excell"

While I was pegged accurately as I've been diagnosed by the Jung Personality Test in the past by more thorough, qualified and in depth questionnaires, the typos in this rendition make it hard to take their classification seriously. Seriously.

sweet

I've been playing around with using whole wheat flour in my baking. The recipes I've made in the past have never called for it and I've been interested in incorporating it. It's not so much that I'm trying to be healthier (nothing I bake can possibly be as bad as a hostess ho ho or twinkie) or subjecting my sweet treats to applesauce substitutes in place of butter, but I am interested in bringing some healthful diversity to my baked treats. And whole wheat flour is part of that experimentation.

I was super liberal with the chocolate chips in these muffins. I just nuked one on high for 15 seconds before inhaling it with an afternoon cup of coffee. Yum!

Anyone have any must-share recipes or ideas? I've got a hankering for sweets and have been having fun playing kitchen chemist :o) (I think I'm trying to get my mind off of how pregnant I am and how imminent the birth is.)

Which also reminds me, I'm looking forward to the release of Zilla's recipe collaborative brought to you by us bloggers truly!

P.S. I was never able to re-establish ownership of my original blog on Vox so I made a new one. Don't know if I'll use it much, but hey, it's there if I need it and if you care.

stranger weather yet

Just when I thought all of the recent overcast skies and occasional wetness were peculiar, mother nature has really thrown me for a loop. For the first time in the 2.5 years we've lived here, I saw snow fall from the sky, and not only fall, but settle onto the ground below. Amazing.


I subscribe to a daily quotation delivery by e-mail. Yes, another thing to read and take up space in my inbox, but occasionally I find it a rewarding and worthwhile quote, and it doesn't take long to read every morning.

Todays' quote:
Memory is the only paradise from which we cannot be driven.
Jean Paul Satre

I have to strongly disagree with today's quote. That doesn't' happen very often. The thing is, one of my greatest fears concerns the fragile nature of the human mind and the possibly of losing my memories one day, be it in part to Alzheimer's, dementia, or what have you.

We can be driven from memory.
Sad but true.

Sorry to oppose, JPS.

That has always been one of the underlying motivators of my on-going thorough assembly of photo albums, habitual calendar documentations, and personal journal writings. I don't want to lose my life by failure of mind.

blogrolling, scanning & other randomness

I've been meaning to vent my frustration with blogroll lately; I haven't been a member for more than a couple of months, and was at last lured in by its efficient means of notification of when a blog was updated. Figures the darn thing would go kaput after I got hooked on its convenience.

I've been slacking at visiting my usual blogs lately.
I've also been trying just to keep up with e-mails.
Feels as though I'm always behind recently.

It shouldn't be this hard.

But my mind is on other things right now, understandably, so I will attribute my technological related lull - and other shortcomings for that matter (particularly the laundry) - to that.

stinky feet and bird poo
1999 NYC central park
uploaded by sarahsflickr
an example of scanned 35mm color film

So my husband got me a scanner for Christmas and I've been having lots of fun archiving 35mm negatives. I still can't get over the fact that the scanner can scan negatives. How cool is that?! I've been trying to get a roll done every day or two; it's a time consuming process. So I figure 15 minutes a day will add up and eventually 3 years from now all of my negatives will be permanently digitized.

I'm a photo junkie.

You should see my photo album collection.

Hey! I should take a picture of it to show you!!

I'm brilliant!

Not really.

But not as non-brilliant as these folks.

For all the suicidal people out there, forget the tedious task of hanging or prolonged process of slitting of your wrists... just drink a sh*t load of water!

Just kidding, just kidding.

Oh, and just a random aside: we were out to dinner last Saturday and heard over the course of our meal three words that incredibly fit together within the neighboring table's course of conversation for that evening: Gynecologist, beanie babies, and illegal drugs. Actually, that's five words, isn't it? Three things. Five words. You get my point. Pretty wacky.

entrusted secret

A phone call.
A confession.
Love and trust.
Guilt and shame.
Admittance.
A secret.

My mother just called and she is in a menacing place right now. I think I've been somewhere near there, but insistently do not attempt to liken my struggles with hers; we all fight our own unique battles. I can empathize well, but refuse to venture that I know what she's going through.

Why me?

Why trust me with her secret? Her embarrassment? Her failing?
Perhaps I am regarded higher than I thought.
Or perhaps I am regarded lower than I thought.
Or perhaps her disclosure has no bearing on how I'm regarded and the only pertinent factor is that I, alone, am her daughter.

Of course she made brief reference to my own personal failings in the past, which she has paid witness to. This may be a strong indicator that she feels I am someone who can relate to her own failings as more than a daughter but as a person.

There were times I wondered if it would ever reach a problematic breaking point.
If she would ever even see that there was a problem. I questioned if there even existed a quandary or if I was the one deceived and overreactional.

Lo, denial is a powerful thing, and sometimes it takes an unfortunate course of events to become aware of the trouble that plagues oneself.

I only hope lessons will be learned and reformation will take place. I've been hoping and praying for that for a long time, now. Her problems - hell, my whole family's problems - have always been my problems and it's a burden I've grown weary of bearing.

I love them all deeply.

where we're at

L and I were over our neighbor-friend's house yesterday for a play date, and when we went to say our goodbyes my friend goes, "Maybe we'll see each other again before the baby is born." It dawned on me at that moment how imminent the birth really is. I looked at her puzzled, and she reminded me, "How many weeks are you?" She's right. I'll be 36 weeks this Friday. Holy Moly.

Steven says he thinks this baby will come early. L was late. She came during the 41st week. I can't tell just yet if I think this little boy will come early or late. All I can tell you is he doesn't feel quite ready just yet.

nude geezer gala

I couldn't resist sharing this one. Nothing like wrinkly romeos and sagging seductresses making the news :o)

Sorta makes you tear up.

Anyway, onto other matters, I'm here and I'm pregnant. Nothing exciting, really. Actually, I've had my nose buried in the latest book I've been reading and haven't been able to get it out. There's only 20 pages left and I'm living from fix to fix until my stash runs out. Then I hope I can find another fix just as good. I actually already have another deal lined up but will have to see if it will follow through so far as good fixes go. The stuff I've got now will be a hard act to follow.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror last night while brushing my teeth... instead of fixating on the sink below.... and realized I hadn't looked at myself in several days. I hardly recognized myself. I looked tired. It was a peculiar experience of jaded recognition.

When I went to bed I watched my husband sleep for a while. I thought about videotaping his comical snores, only was discouraged by the fact that it would undoubtedly awaken him, defeating my intentions. I then had a moment of deep appreciation for his life, in my life, his warm body beside me blessed with life and filled with breath. I love that man.

I hope we're still kickin' it when we're 90.