connecticut

And, at last, my reflections on our trip back east.

Upon our return home I was bombarded with commitments. We arrived home late night on the 28th, then the 30th through the 1st we had house guests: Steven's sister, her husband and three daughters from Colorado stayed with us for a couple days. In addition to that, I had a major project to complete for my grad class (that I had intended to do during our visit back east and hadn't) and a newsletter to publish for Yale's department of Internal Medicine. Aye carumba!!

Thursday March 16th: We Are Family
After arriving the 15th, driving home in the foreign white particles descending from the sky, and settling in for the night on our air mattress in the middle of the downstairs living room, the next day was eagerly welcomed with strong black coffee and excitement to see family.

First stop: Two doors down from my parent's house, my Grandparents "Nanny" and "Pop" and Aunt Barbie. It was so good to see them again... it had been over a year. And it was even more wonderful to see them meet their great grand daughter for the first time.

Nanny Holding L

Friday March 17th: Saint Patrick's Day
On Saint Patrick's day, Steven was headed on a train into the city... but not to partake in the festivities. He had, in fact, to do a fair amount of "work" on this "vacation". There is not even a fine line between work and pleasure any longer.

He went into the city to meet with a book publisher. Him and a colleague might be publishing a series of online academic texts. That night he took the train back, and stopped in Westport, where we all (including my brother!! :o) met up and had dinner at one of our all-time favorite restaurants: Mario's Place.

My father and my mother at Mario's

Steven, L and me

"Uncle" Taylor (will be 17 on April 29th) playing with L

It was a great night. Taylor not only came but enjoyed himself. In this picture he is playing with L, who is thrilled about a paper bag that makes noise when she bangs on it. Taylor is banging with her, and she is squeeling with delight!

Saturday March 18th: On the Road Again
In the wee hours of Saturday morning L was sick throwing up. A fever and diarrhea ensued shortly thereafter. We were hopeful that since she had been sick with a bug not even a couple months ago that we would be in the clear during our trip, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. Despite her being quite ill, we still went through with going to meet my Grandmother "Grama" (my mother's mom), respectively L's Great Grandmother.

We scooped Grama up (she is no longer driving) and took her to her favorite breakfast place: Kimberly's Diner in Milford. There we caught up and she got to meet and adore L for the first time in person. Grampa passed away two years ago this month.

Grama, L and me

That afternoon we took Steven to the airport. Yep - more business for him. He had to go to North Carolina to attend a conference for work. He would be gone March 18th through the 21st. I love his job for it provides us with all we have, but at times I loathe how much it takes him away.

Sunday March 19th: Desperate House Wife
I took something my mom told me Saturday night with a grain of salt. I'm sure after you've been married as long as my parents have, it is inevitable to have some hurt feelings and occassional disappointment. The funny thing is, though, I never thought of my mom as the type to dwell on things or hold on to hurt, and that is what made what she told me a little odd. It wasn't like her.

Basically,she told me how she feels as though she is the laughing stock of many people they know for staying with my father. Apparently many friends have voiced their opinions about how my father doesn't treat her as she deserves to be treated. That everyone sees her put up with my his crap when she could do much better than him.

Not that I disagree, but I didn't tell her that. I told her she is a committed and loving woman who should be admired for her persistance to make her marriage work. She is a devoted woman who loves deeply.

Well, on Sunday, she brought this up again when my father went out briefly, so I knew it bothered her enough and mattered a lot to her to revisit it again with me. This time she told me a story...

She told me a week or so ago she had walked down to the local package store a couple blocks from their home. She ran into an old friend, "R". Now, I know "R" has a bad habit of giving hugs that are inappropriate... with a grab of the tush. He's done this for years. And he's married. And he's married to one of my mom's dear friends. Ugh.

So anyway, "R" offered to give my mom a ride home. My mom declined, afterall, she lives not even a couple minutes walk away. But "R" insisted. And she caved.

Well, mom said she learned something very important that day: That she will never put herself in a situation where she is alone with "R" again. Apparently he told her that he's loved her for 20+ years, is worth 1.2 million dollars, and that she should be with him. That she deserves better than my father. He even grabbed her butt, per usual, and said "I know you've put on a little weight, but I don't care."

Monday March 20th: Shopping and Prison Breaking
Mom took off work on Monday and we went to a couple of our favorite shops unique to New England, one being The Christmas Tree Shops. Oh, how I miss those stores!! You can get so much for so little money! The deals are just amazing. It's no wonder their slogan is: Don't You Just Love a Bargain?

That night mom got me hooked on a show called Prison Break. L is still sick with diarrhea but feeling better. A steady diet of pedialite is helping her stay hydrated.

Tuesday March 21st: Saki It To Me
At last Tuesday had arrived and Steven would be flying home tonight. Mom and Dad both went to work this day, and Taylor to school, and I was left some free time and a car. L and I went to go visit Nanny Pop and Aunt Barbie again, and then Grama again.

L fell asleep during our visit with Grama. Grama told me how my mom's brother Richard got his nickname Rocky: because after a vaccination he rocked violently. I have called him Uncle Rocky my entire life. This must have been "dish on dad" week, too, because Grama brought him up as well... his severe ups-and-downs and two faced-ness. Grama also gave me another handmade blanket for L ... in which I bundled her up for the car ride home.

That evening mom, dad, L and I went to Yoshida's Japanese Restaurant in Milford... a long time favorite of ours as well. We had saki and tempura, a dragon roll and miso soup. Mmm - goodness! :o) Afterwards dad headed up to Bradley airport in Hartford to pick up Steven, who was flying back home from his work conference in North Carolina. The guys got in at 10:00 p.m. It was soooo good to have Steven back.

Wednesday March 22nd: New York, New York
Or, rather, Long Island, Long Island. Either way, Steven arranged a rental car for us so we could go stay with his mom for a couple days.

View of the city from the Throgs Neck Bridge

As we prepared to leave that morning, dad paced around the house waiting until it was time to take Steven to pick up the rental car. He was really starting to get on my nerves so I was eager to get on the road. Seriously... he just paced around the downstairs huffing and puffing until it was time to go. Doing trivial things like closing a closet door flush. But he can't even replace a roll of paper towels when he uses the last one! It was then I had a critical eye-opening moment where I could see what my mom and dad's friends see: My mom works a full time job and has sole responsibility to clean the house, do the laundry, dishes, etc. Dad doesn't do any house chores. Dad hardly works a full time job, being self-employed, has incurred a debt in near excess of $100,000, has no retirement saved and is quite selfish in many ways.

On the car ride to Long Island Steven and I chatted about a bunch of things: his trip to North Carolina, what I did while he was gone, and other such things.

Steven told me on the way to pick up the rental car that Dad told him some things that Taylor, my brother, had confided in him (my dad). Steven said "No wonder Taylor doesn't trust him or want to tell him anything: he'll just blab it on to the next guy." Steven respected Taylor's privacy and didn't tell me any details, aside from the fact that Taylor expressed wanting to talk to Steven about what to do when he turns 18. Apparently he really wants to move out. This did my heart so much good because I know Taylor didn't like - and perhaps even hated - Steven in the beginning of our relationship. Now Steven has apparently earned Taylor's respect and Taylor wants to confide in him. :o)

Early afternoon we arrived at Mom's... and to a very disappointing surprise. You see, mom has been dating a gentleman for about a couple years now, and he moved in quite some time ago. And he smokes. And mom doesn't ... but she lets him smoke in the house. Well, not this past Christmas but the Christmas prior, after spending a day and night surrounded by second hand smoke Steven and I vowed never to stay there again. Not to mention, cigarrette smoke clogs my ears up... it took me years to realize it was the smoke that did this. Afterall, when I was 19 and 20, I smoked! I tried dozens of antihystamines only to realize that the very cancer stick in my hand was to blame!

Anyway, we were disappointed that mom's boyfriend, and mom as well, had a complete and blatant disregard for the health of not just us - but our 8 month old baby!! As soon as Steven was able to, he confronted his mom privately and told her either her boyfriend stops smoking in the house for the couple days we're spending there, or we leave. That simple.

That night Steven's oldest sister Janet and her son Albert came over for supper. Albert was the first cousin L ever got to meet! After supper L fell asleep, so I went upstairs to put her to bed and fell asleep with her. Whoops... I never got to say goodbye to Janet and Albert!

Steven's Mom holding L: Grandchild #10

Thursday March 23rd: Let's Go Shopping!

Thursday morning Steven and I decided to get out... just to be away from the smoke. It was too early yet to tell if mom's boyfriend would respect our wishes. If he would not, we would make plans to leave later that day. We went to the Sunrise Mall in Massapequa to walk around. We enjoyed a ridiculously over-priced lunch at Ruby Tuesdays :-P

When we returned back at mom's around 3ish, we noticed the house was considerably better smoke-wise. Mom's boyfriend was smoking either in his room with the door shut or the back porch. It was amazing what a world of difference it made.

That night mom made us Italian (she's a true Italian, maiden name Sapienza). It was scrumptious. Her sauce has some kick!

Friday March 24th: A Stroll Down Memory Lane
Steven and I packed our things and made some last minute scans of beloved family members, mainly his late grandparents.

On our drive back into Connecticut we stopped off for lunch in Fairfield at a restaurant called Joe's American Bar and Grill that we had gone to five years ago on the fourth of July after watching fireworks... only the restaurant had closed and we never got to eat there! (We ended up enjoying a late night romantic dinner at a neighboring diner in Bridgeport!) We were thankful to at last enjoy this restaurant we'd been wanting to go to for a long time... this time with an extra person with us on our date: our daughter!

The rest of the day I did laundry to get the smokey smell out of our clothes, and Steven went to my father's photography studio in Milford to help him set up his computer network. That night we ordered Stella's Italian for take out. Mmm!! But I just didn't feel right... I felt like I had thumbtacks in my stomach. I normally can chow down 2 to 4 slices... but only managed 1 1/2 that night. Something was up.

Saturday March 25th: My Best Friend's Wedding
Today was the day my friend Marie was getting married! This was a very exciting day. Marie had invited me over around 3:00 to hang out during her preparation for the evening. I arrived promptly ... her mom greeted me at the door and I made my way back to her bedroom where she and her sister-in-law looked goregous. Hair made up, nails done, and putting on their make-up! I snapped a few shots of them and unfortuntaly couldn't stay much longer than a half hour; well, I could have, but we had plans to see Steven's other sister who lived in Brookfield - about 10 minutes away from where the wedding was being held - before the wedding. Talk about multi-tasking. We did a lot of that on our visit back east!

So we made the hour trek to Brookfield to see Andrea (Steven's sister) her husband Tony and their two sons, Drew and Chris... now young men!

That night we made our way to the wedding and reception, all in one location (how smartly convenient) on a lake in the desolate woods of connecticut. It was gorgeous. And every aspect of the wedding was gorgeous as well. Marie looked stunning, her husband Mike handsome, her wedding party beautiful, her decorations/colors/etc immaculate. It was a breathtaking night.


Only one thing was wrong. I still had this strange thumb-tack sensation in my stomach. And Steven didn't seem right either. (I could tell he was keeping something from me...) I started on a glass of white wine that I couldn't even finish. My meal, as scrumptious as it was, I couldn't take more than a few bites. Steven began to run a fever and I began going to the bar for ... Gingerale. Then the bathroom beckoned.... several times.

We didn't even last to the cake being cut... we tried to hang in there, and I probably could have held out, but Steven was the one with the fever, and we were really struggling to just make it every bit longer. After the father & bride and mother & groom dances, we reluctantly excused ourselves.

That night we didn't even drive home to my parents. We just stayed at Steven's sister's house, making many, many trips to the bathroom all night long.

We figured we caught what L initially had when we first arrived in Connecticut. We didn't eat a single thing that was the same, so it had to be a bug, and not food related. And boy, was is not fun!

Sunday March 26th: Recuperation
Early Sunday morning we drove back to my parent's house. There were a couple times on the trip I thought we'd need to stop off... but I pulled through. That day we layed around my parent's home fasting and only drinking gingerale. I braved having a piece of dry toast later in the day.

That afternoon we had already had plans in place for Steven's only brother, Marty, his wife Laura and two daughters Colleen and Caitlin, to come down from upstate New York to visit us. We didn't cancel seeing as we didn't know the next time we'd get to see eachother. L got to meet her first two girl-cousins and was immediately enamored by them! Steven and I chatted from a safe distance while they cuddled and adored L. We were so grateful they were able to come see us during our visit.

Tuesday March 28th: Homeward Bound
The day before being relatively uneventful, still working on getting better, Tuesday we got ready to leave. We packed our things that morning and made a most-important final visit: My cousin Heather had flown in from Chicago, where she lives, with her daughter EMS (who was the flower girl at our wedding) and her newest addition, Walker, who was born one month before L. We announced our pregnancies simultaneously the Christmas prior!!

This rendez-vous meant more than words can express. EMS had grown into the most delightful little girl and Walker is certainly the most handsome and brilliant little man!! And it did my heart good to see Heather again. There is something that phone conversations cannot fulfill that in-person encounters do.

L, EMS, and Walker