Phone is Ringing, Oh My God
Get It Together
See What's Happening
BEASTIE BOYS
My dad called last night. It was a bit past 8 p.m. (which meant 11 p.m. his time - east coast) and I was in the middle of changing a diaper. Of course I put things down for a second to grab the phone (it was a non-poopy, therefore a non-threat to the sanitation of our living room, diaper) because Steven was up in Phoenix and I thought he was calling to say g'night. Nope. Dad.
Sigh.
He was driving home from a golf thing he had been at all day. Something about pars. Something about Milford Bank. "Good job." "Aw, too bad." "Well, at least you had fun." It really wasn't about calling to talk with me. It was calling because he was on the road driving home and it was convenient. Something to do. Someone to talk to.
All I had to do was grunt an occasional "uh huh" into the receiver, pressed between my cheek and shoulder, diaper in one hand, restraining child in other, and my dad seemed pleased. Almost unaware. He had an audience. He could listen to himself talk about things that were important to him and I was there to listen to these things. That was what was important.
He talked about his parents and mom-in-law. Bashed my mom's brother per usual for riding his motorcycle too much and not helping his mother - or my mom help their mother. Praised my mother for being such a hard worker, which she is, and deserves.
Did the usual pity-me speech about how he does nothing but good for his son - my brother - and yet he hates him and makes his life miserable. Swears at him. Swears that he will get my father kicked out of the house my any means possible.
Dad told me my brother recently jumped out of his car going 40 mph because he couldn't stand being near him anymore.
The funny thing is, I did the same thing once, too. I wonder if my father remembers.
I remember.
He called me crazy and went on and on and ON about how I needed serious help. It's his goings ons that makes people want to jump out of cars.
I'm venting. And I've known it since I started. And I haven't stopped because I frankly don't give a damn. Sometimes we need to vent.
5 comments:
I totally hear you. The only time my mom calls me now is on her way home from work. It sucks because you think you might have a more adult, meaningful relationship with your parents when you are older and have a family of your own...I do think some people have this....but then you turn around and it's like you are just someone else they have to call. :(
Venting is good. Let that crap bottle up inside you and your body will start to break down. Good vent, Sarah! And you're a good person for listening to someone who probably doesn't know when others need listening to. Big hugs and a gold star for your forehead!
Ya gotta love 'em. I wasn't completely fond of my father either. The only time he would call me is when he was in town visiting my step brothers. I guess he felt obligated. Not obligated enough to stop by... Finally, one fine Father's Day, my husband pulled him aside and told him it breaks Becky's heart when you yada, yada, yada. If you don't stop, I WILL have to kick your ass.
My Dad now makes it a point to call me once a week and visit me while he is town. My Dad just loves my husband now. He can never stop telling me what a good man he is and how I'm blessed to have him.
My man can be a little over protective. In this case, it did some good. My Dad and I are very close now.
Hmmm, I guess I vented a bit as well!
Becky :)
Venting is awesome. I know several people who make me want to jump from a moving car. Parents are the hardest ones of all to manage as adults.
Vent on hon. I love a good vent. I do.
You make valid points.
We are all a product of nature and nurture. We all have our issues to mull through, to figure out.
It's healthy, and many time necessary, for us to re think the past, as adults; see how it looks through an adults eyes.
Because sometimes the adults act like big old children.
We somehow knew it then and we remember it now.
We try not to emulate them.
It's good to get it down. And out.
"Dad I'm going to have to lay the phone down for a minute, feel free to continue talking..."
Oh that was just mean.
"Or dad, do you remember when I bailed out of your car? No? Lemme fill ya in. Oh, you have to go now?...."
I know I suck.
"Or dad, ever wonder what would make someone choose to jump from a moving car? Hello, dad, are you there?..."
Love love, hugs and stuff, Lori
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