We didn't used to always live so far away from my parents. We moved out to Tucson in the summer of 2004 - two years ago - for Steven's job. He looked and looked and looked, and Tucson was it. It was the only thing he could find. So we packed our things. I applied and was accepted to grad school.Before we moved here we had purchased an old, small, colonial house that was a foreclosure in my hometown. Across the street from my grandparents and my parents. Yes, you read right. My grandparents and my parents.
It had its pros and cons. Even when we lived twenty-or-so miles in another town, we frequently spent a couple to a few sundays a month together. My parents have a ritual: Sunday church, come home, drink wine, cook a nice dinner. Every Sunday.
Of course when we moved in across the street we ended up spending a little more time together - here and there. An occasional evening during the week, a few more afternoons on the weekend during the span of the month.
A little fact about my parents: they drink every day. And everytime we hung out there were always drinks all around. I never drank so much in my life living across the street from my parents. And then it carried over even when they were not around. I hate to say it, but they had an influence on me, and not the best. It's not like I didn't have a choice, but it was much easier to not decline and just go with it. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a drink?But everyday? Everytime they've come to visit and stay with us in the past two years I've been surprised now that I have "distance" to really see. They put down a 1 1/2 liter bottle of wine between the two of them a day- in addition to anything they order if we go out. I remember when L was born I went into the closet of the bedroom where they were staying to get a blanket and saw a 2 liter bottle of vodka by their clothes. So it may even be more...
I know my dad is probably worse than my mom. But they're not out of control, at least so far as I have seen for the most part over the years, so is there anything wrong? Can you drink everyday and not be an alcoholic?
2 comments:
I think it depends on the person. There are lots of functioning alcoholics, my man is one. Goes to work every day, pays his bills, doesn't drive drunk, generally a very good person, kind and hardworking, but a drunk just the same.
It's difficult living with someone who drinks so much, sometimes it's easier to join them so you don't want to kill them. You know, if you're a little wasted they don't seem nearly so stupid...
I think the difference between an alcoholic and a non alcoholic is the non can leave it alone, the other, can't.
I can leave it alone, the man, well, he doesn't seem to be able to, but at least he is a responsible functioning drunk, now. There was a time.....
Gaaaaa, I need therapy.
Wow, that's a big question to ask the universe, via the internet. Really the question is an internal one about how you feel about their drinking..... does it bother you? Are you worried about them? Does it upset you enough to rock the boat?
I must say, I love reading your blog, because you dig so deep.. it gets me thinking about stuff way outside of my normal operations.
hugs
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