I'd first like to apologize for the long comments I've been leaving some of you. I can't seem to leave a short and to-the-point comment lately. There is nothing succinct about me of late and my thoughts are far from compact.
It's problematic because it actually deters me from commenting sometimes. Because I can't simply get something brief and to the point out of me that effectively communicates my thoughts.
I feel the same way about e-mail sometimes. I'm awful about e-mailing people back because it always turns into a mini-novel. Why can't I be brief?
Perhaps I'm too critical.
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Well, I deleted my Vox intentionally yesterday with the planned purpose of re-signing up and redesigning from scratch. I don't know what I was thinking, but when I went to re-sign up it wouldn't accept my email address seeing as it had been used previously. I'm hoping if I give it a few days it will forget about the whole incident and eventually accept it. So if you're wondering where I went over there, that's the story.
I've been messing blogs up a lot lately. I should just stop screwing around.
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I'm 30 weeks pregnant now. I had my glucose test a week ago to check for gestational diabetes. Last time (with L) I took the drink they gave me and got really sick. Passing-out sick. This time I opted for an alternative method: a meal plan with a precalculated sugar content. The peanut butter and jelly sandwich, apple and milk went much better.
And I'm not diabetic.
However... I am borderline anemic. Which explains a lot. I have been feeling tired and easily winded for a while now so it makes perfect sense.
Other than that, I've been having lots of dreams lately, but no insomnia (thank heaven) yet. I'm hoping it won't happen at all this time. And to be honest, I'm more scared about the birth this time than I was last time. You'd think that fear of the unknown birth experience would have been stronger the first time, and fear of the known less strong this time, but I am actually more scared this time because I know. Last time I wasn't entirely fearless but was definitely not distressed or overly worried as I had a strong blind faith. This time I'm terrified.
8 comments:
Sarah, I LOVE your long comments, and yeah I’m windy; NEVER once been accused of being concise, but you aren’t like that.
Your comments are a breath of fresh air, and sparkling, and funny, and warm, I like ‘em, short or long, heck I like it just seeing your aviator butterfly, makes me smile, and stuff.
I think your are right about the fear being because you know what to expect. Yep, I remember when I was pregnant the first time, I kept thinking, “How bad can it be? I mean really, if it were THAT bad nobody would have kids, and certainly not more than one.”
When I was in labor with Rachel my grandma and my man were both there. Grandma had a bottle of whisky in her car, they both kept slipping out for a snort, assholes, heh heh.
So there I am all freaked out, sort of, and grandma, drunk, says, “Does it hurt much honey?” Only she said honey like, hoe nee, she was kind of hick, and I say, sniff, sniff, “Yeah, a little.” And she said, “Well it’s only gonna get worse hoe nee, why don’t you take the dope they‘re offerin‘ ya? Do you want me to get ya a snort of whisky? I’ll sneak it in here if ya want.” Good ol’ granny always willing to help.
I had the first two naturally, despite everyone trying to get me tanked up or loaded, the last one, little Samuel, the guy who came out lookin’ like Dave Letterman, with Neil Young music playing softly in the background of the birthing room, I had via epidural.
The man insisted, said, “Baby we’re old, why don’t you do this thing with a little help this time.” Okay, so he really didn’t insist, he persuaded, said, “Let’s do this like modern day humans and not some cave people, what do ya say?”
And I said, “Oh, alright, give me the dope.”
If I were going to have another, God forbid, cause I’m real old now, I’d be yelling for my epidural in the parking lot the minute my feet hit the pavement.
Oh hell, I just realized this is not going to help you get over your fear. I suck.
But even though I suck, you know I love ya, and maybe you smiled a little reading this horror story of mine…..
Your comments are always appreciated, Sarah! I love your mini-novels. For one thing, I never feel like you've just "skimmed" out of some weird feeling of "blogger duty." Nothin' more un-fun than reading a comment and thinking, "hey! she skimmed! I must be REALLY boring!" And it's okay not to leave comments, too. Hey, sometimes those who care about us most simply don't have anything to say, right?
I think I was more scared with Myrtle (the eldest) than I was with Moose, but I wasn't that scared with Myrtle in the first place, mostly because my mother told me all of the right things, and she gave me a copy of a wonderful book called "Childbirth Without Fear." I have always been a blowhard supporter of natural, drug-free childbirth, but Myrtle had an epidural when GBabyZ was born, and I thought, "Wow, why didn't I ever have one of those?"
You remember the first time you laid eyes on Leigha, and how everything else just melts away when you see your baby for the first time? Maybe you could use her newborn picture for your focus object?
If I had known there was an alternative to the nasty syrup they give you for fasting blood sugar tests, I would have asked for it! I learn so much from you :-)
Sarah, I love your comments. I love long comments because they show interest and caring. I often leave short ones because I think if I say too much I will over step the boundaries of blog friendship. I get very advicey. I also love to make up words.
Thanks for wondering how we are doing in business, it has been quite a huge transition and on top of that everyone is getting sick. It's like if we made the wrong choice it's too late now.
So let me get all advicey. Don't think about the birth. When you start to obsess just yell STOP (to yourself :) of course) You can't do any good by worrying and besides don't the ones after the first just fly on out? That's what I've heard :) AND All your blog friends and non blog friends and family will be praying and thinking about you, so with all that love, you will be fine.
I like long comments, as I tend to leave them I guess it is only right that I do so.
What a philosophical debate- fear of the unknown versus fear of the known!!!
Do you realize how long that conversation could be?? and that's SOBER mind you!!
If you'll allow the ramblings of a male on the topic, I'd guess (and it couldn't be anything but otherwise so) that once you are in labor, your previous birth 'experience' (a wholly detached word I grant you) will likely take over (that's meant to be hopeful).
Hey you've gone three-quarters of the way, which I think sounds better as 90th out of 120th of the way...the 90 makes it sound closer!!
Um..and this has been a really long comment :)
Sarah ~ your long comments (ok yours are the only comments, but thats an aside) on my blog, well, they litereally make my day. No irony intended, I feel this should be a short comment. Coming from a literature background, mini novels are apperciated and encouraged, not frowned upon.
Another aside, i cannot believe you are 30 weeks pregnant! time does fly :)
I love that all the comments for this post are so long.
No worries about Vox. I opened my account, then promptly stopped blogging. When December is over, I hope to be better.
I'm sorry you're worried about the second time around.
I can honestly tell you that my second birth went incredibly well. I had an epidural for both, but even still, I was just very calm and happy. The pushing was so short, the hospital staff were grateful! They were in and out in ten minutes.
30 weeks is the beginning of crunch time. The baby is safer from here on out, right? You keep taking care of yourself, and get in some walking when you can. That sure helped a lot the second time. *I didn't exercise at all when pregnant with Jack. I was so thankful for the extra muscle tone second time around.
Now saying that, I remember you're tired, which makes it so hard.
But I'm excited for you.
And can't wait.
Happy dreams.
Hugs to those sweet little ones!
Hi Sarah, The only birth I was afraid of was my third. One of these days I'll post the whole story for you.
My second birth was wonderful. Yours will be as well :)
First of all, I love your long entries and your comments! Secondly, now reading backwards about the anemia, I think that probably is affecting your memory. Hmmm...this has me stumped! Keep us updated.
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